What are typical words we'd use to describe facing our challenges? I often (understandably) hear language like war, fight, battle...- implications of struggle to win something that's being withheld from us.
Over the last few years, I've noticed a shift in this narrative. Could it be more effective to approach ourselves and what we're facing with gentleness,
acceptance,
patience,
adaptability?
Positive psychology (🫶) as well as therapists and authors like Aundi Kolber and Susan David agree.
Ed Smith also speaks about the value of this in his ministry and prayer counselling model, TPM. Warring with ourselves or spiritual forces is simply unhelpful.
[TPM is a systematic way of gently getting to the core belief and examining it to gain the Lord's perspective - Book a session / find out more here]
I've experienced it many times too, the most noteworthy being a time when I was faced with a seemingly insurmountable challenge and something that was very much out of my control. My lovely physiotherapist at the time suggested that I "just go with it; accept it as a challenge and try not to get angry" - advice which I gradually forgot about as our session ended and the day went on.
That night, as I met with friends and relayed the recent development, one of them 'happened' to comment gently- "Rox, just go with it; don't fight this".
It is SO DIFFICULT but the best and most helpful words- instead of using precious energy being angry, we're freed to focus our efforts and attention on the matter at hand!
And that posture change makes all the difference.
We are more than capable, and have priceless wisdom and treasures within us- within our very minds and bodies which are what we're so often fighting against!
We can learn to be on our own team.
The more we fight against and resist unwanted emotions (anger, anxiety, sadness, fear...) the more they tend to persist. Almost counterintuitively, as we get curious about these feelings - give them room, try to find out what they're attempting to tell us, etc - the emotions are processed effectively and are freed.
I so hope that you would experience this for yourself. Instead of focusing on the "war" we're facing, can we choose a more helpful perspective? Can we loosen our grip, lean into difficulty with gentleness, trust ourselves, and God, that we can get through what we're facing?
If you're struggling with this, firstly offer yourself kindness!- it is a difficult and crucial realisation 💛.
And please reach out to me here. You don't have to battle this anymore and especially not alone.
With you and for you,
My online store is now open 🤩- you can find different resources to benefit your wellbeing here.